Single and Hating It?
There are a couple things every single person needs to know in order to thrive while single
1. If you are waiting on a husband or wife to be happy, then you’ve already began worshiping an idol that will never satisfy.
You and your spouse will be different people. You will not have all the same preferences. You will not carry all the same opinions. You will even have different passions at times. Your spouse will never be able to provide the stability, provision, comfort or protection that God offers us.
If you establish that truth in your heart today, while single, you will save yourself years of disappointment and fear that may harm, or even destroy, your marriage. For myself, as a child, my parents were all those things for me. Then I became a teenager and realized they didn’t have the resources I’d thought they did; they couldn't offer me everything I needed. When I went to college I realized my friends couldn’t even be the comfort and stability I wanted them to be. When I later moved from Ohio to California, I became convinced that now, thousands of miles from anything familiar, if God wasn’t all of those things for me, I would fall flat on my face, and quickly! But He was. And that revelation has saved me.
2. If you are waiting for “the one” to arrive, my first question to you would be, “Are you more focused on ‘finding the one’ than ‘becoming the one’?”
Keep in mind, you are not alone in this boat. Both men and women search for someone who makes their heart leap, who carries so many of the qualities in the wife or husband that they’ve always dreamed of, and who they’re inspired by. Dreaming of your future spouse is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be motivational in your personal growth journey.
I often think of qualities that I admire in people and apply them to my future husband. These thoughts remind me of what I'm waiting for. They remind me that becoming a woman that responds well in conflict, that chooses not to punish with a bad attitude or the silent treatment will be well worth the energy. They remind me that becoming a woman who loves intentionally and chooses to communicate in conflict (rather than avoid it), honors both Jesus and my husband. Whenever I start to long for my future husband, I remind myself that I would do all of those things for Jesus for the rest of my life, even if it was only for Him, because I have never felt so free and alive in my life.
Stop waiting on something to change to become a joyful, life-giving, beautiful human being. There is no convenient season to be joyful. You’ll either choose it now, or you won’t.
- Anna Weygandt (Intern)