Getting to Know Yourself: Keys to Overcoming Insecurity



To have faith that is willing to take a risk is not just a recommendation but a requirement for pleasing God. The Bible literally says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” As our relationship with the Lord grows as individuals God reveals very quickly that risk taking is one of the key ingredients to intimacy with him. We see this throughout scripture, time and time again God reward bold acts of faith. The ones who always stand out the most to me are Daniel, and the three Hebrew boys who willingly stepped into certain death. When I test the way, we tend to make decisions as Christians today against that grading scale for faith it can be hard to see the similarities. 

In this quest to please God we find a powerful parallel of our horizontal relationships. Both in our relationship with God and others, intimacy is achieved through risk, faith and trust. All of these are key ingredients to a deep relationship. So, as we discover the importance of these components to a relationship it is also imperative that we identify what hinders our ability to operate with these at our core. 

I propose that knowing and loving yourself is the most important quality to have if you want to grow in these areas. Daniel knew exactly who he was, who his God was, and this knowing guided him. Often times when we struggle to make decisions the biggest cloud comes from the concern of what others might think. Someone who is full comfortable in their own skin honors other’s opinions but never lives or dies by them. How do you find the internal resolve to willingly step into a lion’s den? With an internal confidence that you are exactly who God has said you are and that God is exactly who he says he is.

The greatest kryptonite of relational depth is insecurity. In a romantic relationship insecurities can cause a couple to spend hours, days and even years circling back to issues that seem to never go away. In friendships insecurities assume the worst rather than believe the best. In marriages insecurities can cause one partner to shut down, another to be jealous and a marriage to fall apart. In our relationship with God insecurity minimizes us to a form of Godliness. It is imperative that a healthy individual get to know themselves, become sold out to the belief that God made you that way ON PURPOSE, and then Love what God created. So here are some practical steps to becoming more secure in who you are.  

  1. Read, “The Road Back to You,” By Ian Cron.

    For years I fought “personality assessments,” because I thought they were a waste of time. It wasn’t until I finished preaching at an event and a friend asked me, “Do you realize that you preach as if you are defeated and like no one believes you? You constantly over emphasize your points so you can prove you are smart.” As we dialogued he shared with me how the best thing he has ever done for his relationships, ministry and self is to really learn who he is and understand why he is this way. Whether it is this book or another, take a deep dive into you and discover yourself. It will be hard, emotional but healing and powerful at the same time.

  2. Remember that though their opinion matters as children of God it has no bearing on your identity.

    I find that one of the greatest hindrances to self-belief is putting too much stock in what others believe about you. We often trust our identity to other flawed humans by allowing their opinions to change who we are, what we do or think. Our creator is the only one qualified to make assertions as to who we should be.

  3. Start making some decisions with the paradigm of, “failures are not defining actions but rather proof of risk.

    Often times insecure people fear failure so much they don’t act and intern don’t live out their full destiny. The fear of failure and what people with think about us when we fail has prevented many God breathed ideas from getting off the ground. Don’t allow fear to define your pursuit of his presence.

As you are choosing what voices you listen to, find healthy individuals who are lead by God and can confirm who He says you are. Finding yourself and being who you are might just be your single greatest act of worship ever because it says, “God I agree I am made in your image and I am good.”