Getting to Know Yourself: Keys to Overcoming Insecurity

The greatest kryptonite of relational depth is insecurity. In romantic relationships, insecurities can cause a couple to spend hours, days, and even years circling back to issues that seem to never go away. In friendships, insecurities assume the worst rather than believe the best. In marriages, insecurities can cause one partner to shut down, another to be jealous and a marriage to fall apart. In our relationship with God, insecurity minimizes us to a form of godliness. It is imperative that a healthy individual get to know themselves, become sold out to the belief that God made you that way on purpose, and then love what God created. So here are some practical steps to becoming more secure in who you are…

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Three Steps to Teach Your Sex Drive to See

“You are not a victim to what you see. You are powerful and capable of teaching your sex drive how to see. In today’s culture, it could be easy to be desensitized by perverse images and people being turned into objects of pleasure rather than people of value to be honored. You have the power to teach yourself how to see people as children of God. Here’s a few steps for a good start…”

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The Battle Between Love and Lust

Lust bolts, love stays. Lust forgets. Lust blanks out. Lust has no forethought. Lust lyricizes the glamour of one-night stands, love writes lyrics that says it'll catch a grenade for you. Lust utters empty nothings, love follows through on its promises. Lust defends without humility, love always says sorry. Love makes space to wonder, lust asks what time is it? Lust has double standards – ones that only work for the self. Love listens to the highest standard and fights for it. Lust sends a text to finish a romantic dalliance, love talks face-to-face.

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Your Broken Relationship Was Not a Waste of Time

I know what you’re thinking: these last eight months were pointless. The emotions, the time, the dates, the gifts – useless, wasted, the stuff you throw away like scraps of paper. Except the scraps are your heart, and the wasted time was your life. He’s gone, you’re here, and though you know how to move on and you’re walking forward with the Lord, it’s hard to see the purpose in an ended relationship.

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4 Bad Reasons and 4 Good Reasons for Getting Married

Years of counseling experience have taught me that marriage plans can either be good or bad, depending on the couple’s reasons for getting married. My initial conversations with engaged couples are full of questions designed to help me understand why they have decided to say “I do.” Here are some examples of good reasons and not-so-good reasons for getting married…

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7 Signs of an Unhealthy Soul Tie

Sex is a tridimensional experience: spirit, soul, and body. Anytime you have sex with a person you bond with them. Two people may decide to have sex ‘just for the fun of it,’ yet something is occurring on another level that they might not have decided on at all: sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want it or not. This is what we call soul ties.

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The “Job” I Never Wanted - An Inside Look Into The Sex Industry

As a survivor of sexual exploitation in prostitution and porn, I can definitively say that it is not a job like any other. The sex industry—prostitution, porn, and stripping—is an industry run primarily by men. Men are the exploiters and sex buyers. Women/girls are the exploited and the purchased commodities. It was a man, my father, who thrust me into exploitation in prostitution and porn when I was 11. Here is my story…

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How Bitterness Is Stopping You From Being Asked Out

When pain from the past goes unresolved and unhealed, it leads to self-protective measures and often bitterness. We make accusations and judgments against the other gender and consciously or subconsciously create walls and space between us. While we both have fallen into this trap, this is how your actions are affecting the men that you’re hoping will pursue you.

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The Redemptive Silver Lining of the Sexual Revolution

Over centuries the stigma and shame associated with sex has caused a lot of destruction inside and outside churches. From abortion to divorce to gender transition, shame around sexuality has impacted America. Our self-made effort to bring resolution, the Sexual Revolution, has hardly been the salve we had hoped. Its fruit is the whole-scale breakdown of family and sexual accountability that we see today in our Tinder and porn driven culture. Yet the silver lining of the Sexual Revolution may very well be our willingness to see and say all things sexual utterly shamelessly. In the end, our ability to be transparent and vulnerable about our sexuality and its formation could very well be an answer to prayer.

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Ladies, Let Yourself Be Pursued

I’ve always been the woman who’s not afraid to ask a guy out. In my early twenties, my social prowess felt like a gift. But just beneath my cool exterior was a self-conscious girl who believed the right guy would never find me, that I had to make it happen. Last year, I encountered the harsh reality that I was thirty, still single, and stuck in a toxic relationship cycle. I’ve discovered that not giving men the opportunity to pursue us wholeheartedly can potentially shipwreck our relationships.

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When Rejection Tries To Own Us

Most of us have had our heart broken at some point in our life. Most of us have felt rejected or discarded by someone. It’s extremely painful and no one enjoys the feeling of “not being chosen.” So how do we deal with that rejection? How do we not believe the lie that we are “less than” or “not as good as” that other girl or guy who was chosen? I know this pain more than I’d like to admit. I faced one of the biggest rejections of my life when my husband chose to give his heart to somebody else…

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7 Things Every Spouse Of A Sex Addict Should Know

Sexual addiction is very complex. There are several underlying issues that contribute to this problem. There are also unique issues that a spouse faces when sexual addiction is suspected and/or revealed. As a spouse of a sex addict, it is imperative that you understand your role in the recovery process. Here are 7 helpful things every spouse should know about sex addiction.

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The "Habitual Dating Cycle"

Do you know someone that always has to have a love interest in their life? Someone who is never satisfied with just being single for a season, but who gets their needs met from having relationship after relationship? The “Habitual Dating Cycle” is characterized by someone who has made dating a habit by dating many, many people. They are never fully satisfied and eventually become bored with who is in front of them - so they move on. People who habitually date usually care most about getting their own needs met, and not as much for the heart in front of them.

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Three Ways Love is Not Blind

I dated the most insane person. No seriously, I really think he was crazy. At the time, he seemed great! Thanks to my friends it only took me two months to realize my prince charming was actually a frog. That is why they say “love is blind,” but there is a balance in knowing what flaws to look past and what are major red flags. Since my vision was blurred, my family and friends helped correct my eyesight. There were three red flags that my friends and I picked up on that helped me avoid making a HUGE mistake by comparing true love to his counterfeit love.

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